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I am sitting here in my car while my wife is in the hospital waiting to be seen.‘Your husband can’t come in I’m sorry’, Says the receptionist.

My heart sinks lower than last week when I wasn’t allowed to see my unborn child for the first time (ultrasound)

Katie has been pretty sick, much more so than with our first child. For a while there we thought we might be having twins! Twice as many babies twice the sickness right?!

It turns out that she has an overactive thyroid. Pretty common the doctors tell us although scary nonetheless.

Everything is when there is a baby involved.

Although I would like to, I’m not here to talk about Katie or our inbound baby, that will come later I’m sure. I want to talk about an often forgotten part of pregnancy. The father.

And how the experience of expecting has changed for dads during Covid.

It’s pretty common for new fathers to feel useless, well that was my experience anyway.

Once you’ve done your part there’s not much else to do right? The woman grows the baby, births it, and then feeds it (if breastfeeding).

When my first was born, I felt like he didn’t even know I existed for the first few months. The way I felt useful and involved was by taking Katie to appointments and being there to hold her hand when the big milestones were happening. That can’t happen anymore.

I’m relegated to waiting in the car while she’s in there all on her own. Through good news and bad. I should be thankful that we have access to healthcare and I am. I’m also grateful that they are taking Covid so seriously. I just can’t help but notice how much more distant I feel from this pregnancy than the last. There is only so much feeling a growing belly can do. I wonder if the other dad two cars down from me feels the same.

Next time you see someone waiting in the car or pacing outside the hospital. Smile at them. They might need it.